I lost my trust, my faith, my how to relate,
my sense of ground, my sense of me and you.
It is not us together anymore - never was.
From my shore, it is always only me.
And you are somewhere else,
keeping order, cleaning the house.
Always doing, doing, doing -
Doing my head and my heart in.
I am so lost, have no where to go, but
into the dieing of my trust, my faith, my hope,
my how to relate, my ground, my me and you.
And what is left, is a hollow and lonely place,
where I live with grey -
The grey of angry green.
The grey of fading day.
The grey that wants to walk away from who we never were -
The grey who wants to go beyond the horizon line,
to be free, of who we be.
I am a well where springs the water that weeps -
Weeps the sadness of the so deep,
the so petrified, the so betrayed.
I am travelling to where no one talks -
Far away from where relating is a people thing.
No one can reach me here.
No one can see me here -
Not even myself.
Lost in Grey
Remembering early childhood
2004 ©